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Transcript

76. Shayne Hunter - Hecklers, History & Hate-Languages

Shayne Hunter is a dynamic comedian and storyteller, known for his true crime walking tours and insightful comedy shows. He’s deeply interested in psychology, trauma, communication, and societal narratives, using humour to explore personal growth and critique modern culture.

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This episode was recorded during the 2025 Melbourne International Comedy Festival, in which Shayne was hosting the True Crime Comedy Walking Tour, the discussion begins with light-hearted banter about Lui’s alleged heckling and quickly shifts to the uniqueness of Shaynes true crime walking tour, which draws crowds by blending history with storytelling.

The conversation then deepens, exploring themes of trauma, societal narratives, and personal growth. Shayne shares insights on psychological schemas like unrelenting standards, linking them to societal rewards and personal struggles. He and Lui delve into love and hate languages, exploring the fascinating wonder of how how childhood experiences shape adult relationships. The dialogue critiques modern commercial culture, lamenting the erosion of sacred narratives and the impact of modern media on family units. Shaynes candid reflections on his upbringing and theories on societal organisation resonate with Lui, sparking a mutual exploration of identity, connection, and resilience.

Key Themes:

Trauma responses, love/hate languages, societal narratives, commercial culture, personal growth.

Key Takeaways

Trauma Shapes Behaviour: Hunter explains how unconscious trauma, like abandonment, triggers fight-or-flight responses in relationships, often without awareness. “Imagine it’s like having the bear attack, but it’s an unconscious bear attack” (00:22:14).

Unrelenting Standards as a Trauma Response: Society rewards perfectionism, but it’s a pathological pursuit of unattainable goals. “You’re never going to beat the wall” (00:28:03).

Love and Hate Languages: Lui and Shayne attempt to invert the famous 5 Love Languages (e.g., gifts, quality time) into hate languages (e.g., stealing, neglect), showing how caregivers’ mixed signals wire dysfunctional patterns. “Eventually you get addicted to neglect” (00:44:46).

Commercial Narratives Erode Meaning: Modern media prioritises trivial branding over profound ideas, occupying mental space. “I want to send an invoice to Bunnings Warehouse… for the rent in my head” (00:50:17).

Tribal vs. Nuclear Family: The shift from tribal to nuclear family units, exacerbated by media, isolates individuals and burdens relationships. “The family unit is a breakdown of the tribal unit” (00:55:12).

You can follow the fascinating Shayne Hunter and his journey through life and comedy on Instagram at @shaynehuntercomedy - https://www.instagram.com/shaynehuntercomedy/

Personal Note

Despite some initial awkwardness over a misunderstanding, Shayne was a pleasure to chat to. His knack for critical rationale, along with his raw honesty and depth are a breathe of fresh air and are traits rarely found in the leaders of today’s crumbling western society.

We shared curiosities about human behaviour, trauma’s lasting impact, and the search for meaningful connection in a commercialised world and we both value authentic dialogue and self-reflection, fostering a conversation that pushes personal boundaries.

🫶 Thanks again for listening and watching! Let us know what you think and catch you in the next episode.


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